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03/08/07 - Had another nice week at Palmers Green this past weekend. I'm really enjoying my time with the kids there, and am looking forward to the 'Fun Day' that's planned for two weeks time. Karlita's really taken to me, and kissed me goodbye on Sunday. I don't think there's a great deal of difference between Tamils across the world, it seems the only difference you get between people is the modern-traditional divide I've been blogging about this year. And after my kiss goodbye from my 'replacement Shamini', I had a dream about the 'real' Shamini that night...

I had a long chat with Victoria earlier in the week. She and Wendy had just returned from India the week before, spending time with Elisha and doing preaching, which apparently had a good turn out. Victoria seems keen on me to do an engineering course, which I'm warming to closer to than nursing now. I have the paitence and tolerance for nursing, but I'm not sure how I'd handle everything else. And one last thing, also Asia related; I saw a familiar skull on the front page of the Independent, from the Killing Fields in Cambodia. One of the men who led the toturing in the Tou Sleng Prison (Kang Kek Leu) is finally being brought to justice, thirty years after the Khmer Rouge regime...

10/08/07 - I've finally been making a bit of progression with my future, this past week. I went to my third careers advice session on Wednesday, and was strongly encouraged to go for a course in Computer Aided Design, which my father had suggested last week. So that should keep me occupied one evening a week, up until around Easter. But that unfortunately knocks out my travel time to about two weeks over Christmas, that's if I can get the time off work...

I called Jyothi and Ranjita this past week; I think Ranjita is seriously missing me, she sounded really excited when I called. I could hear the numbers of their phone being pressed when she talked to me, I think Ranji must have been squeezing the phone really close to herself. I had a dream about her last night, she just seemed really unenthused, and I saw a lady trying to encourage her to do something. I'm starting to feel the same, and it's not going to be much easier if I have another four months to wait to see her, which will only be for two weeks...

It's just a case of keeping myself busy in the meantime. Unfortuantely I missed a wedding on Saturday at the Ashford church, which I was quite dissapointed about. But fortunately I have Palmers Green to go to on Sunday, then their 'Fun Day' on the Friday. It's been a really dragging couple of weeks, atleast I'll get some fun throughout the next couple of weeks, and making the good feeling last as long as I can...

17/08/07 - What a fun, yet tiring Fun Day we had at Palmers Green today. Maybe nine hours was a bit long for some people (especially the kids), but it was still a well put together and enjoyable day. We started the day at nine in the park with sack, egg (we used plums) and spoon, and three-legged races, which I managed to get some great photos during. Then we had a meal, did craft, then the three groups (Revelation, Seeker and Infinite) did their songs and performances, then awards and certificates were given out, all finishing around six o'clock.

I had been a bit worried throughout the day that I wouldn't be able to stay with anyone over the weekend, which would have been a problem as I bought two single tickets for different dates, but fortunately I managed to stay with the family of a guy called Prathees, who's around my age. So it's been a nice start to a three day weekend, which happens to run through India's 60th independence day, and it was also Taman Wahyu's fourth anniversary last Saturday...

I finally posted the Namibia Travel Blog, after having it on my todo list for the past year or two. It was nice looking back at that trip, it was my first real, big adventure. I think I've learnt a lot since then; I don't think we should have left the school early, despite how nice Hardap was. With the situation the school principal was in, it's not suprising he acted so greedy at the time, he needed to get all he could out of us, it's just a shame he didn't leave a good, lasting impression. I wonder how the school has developed since then...

24/08/07 - One cool weekend passes, and another is coming up. After last Friday's 'Fun Day', we had four of us stay round one of Prathees' relatives' flat. Despite having been attending Palmers Green for almost five months, I don't think my Tamil has greatly improved. I spent the morning with Olivia, who's just turned three, but I wasn't really able to communicate well with her. Then I spent the rest of the Saturday at Prathees', with his eight year old brother, Jonathon. He was being quite rude to me, but I don't think it's good for a young boy to spend most the summer indoors.

But what else can he do? I wouldn't let my kids wonder outside in this country, especially the state it's in now. I lost count of the number of murders there have been the past couple of weeks, yet I doubt anything will be properly done about this 'yob crisis'. I pity the migrants that have chosen or have been forced to move here because of the state of their own countries, but despite the UK being 'multi-cultural', it seems most people are comfortable just sticking with people from there own country. But I'm not suprised by this, I haven't made any new English friends for almost two years...

Anyway, Sunday was nice at Palmers Green again, and now I got another summer party at James Wilson's tomorrow, then off to Palmers Green again for the third straight week, where I'll probably be staying up there Sunday night so I can go with them to Margate on Bank Holiday Monday! It's set to be good weather this weekend, after it being such a wet and dull summer. Also it was Ranjita's birthday on Wednesday; I called Jyothi, though Ranji wasn't there at the time, but I'm not sure if she realised it was her daughter's birthday that day, and I'm not sure if they received the card I sent them either...

31/08/07 - Had another eventful weekend this past week. When to James Wilson's annual summer party, which was themed on masks. It was nice to attend, though not as many people came as previous years. Sunday was at Palmers Green again, for the third straight weekend. There was a reunion service of the five Tamil churches in the UK that are in the same network. We took communion, then a number of us went round someone's house for a bit. Stayed with Prathees' relatives again, and was up till midnight showing Olivia photos of the Fun Day on my website.

Then Bank Holiday Monday we went to Margate. I sat next to a two year old girl, Sippa, and her father on the coach there; we spent most the time playing, then she ended up picking at my nose, and gave me quite a bad nose bleed. She went quiet for the rest of the journey, but were fine again when we got to the beach. We were joined by the Milton Keynes Tamil Church, where they had a baptism in the sea.

It was a really enjoyable day; the Palmers Green kids had a good time, and the adults played a lot of games, but I just felt this emptiness whilst I was there. It wasn't that I felt pushed out, the kids were calling me quite often to get involved in their things. I just looked around and saw how happy all the families were getting along with each other, yet I didn't have anyone. It's hard enough being the only non-Tamil in the church, but having no family to share days like this with is even harder.

I was on the phone to Victoria for almost an hour the next day, and talking to her seemed to lighten my mood, but I just don't know what I'm going to do with my future now. I haven't got a confirmed placement on this computing course yet, but I'm becoming quite drawn to trying to do a TEFL course. I thought back over my careers advice sessions, and they said teaching or care work qualifications would make finding a job in Asia easier than computing or engineering. So I'm back to square one again, still with no idea of what the future holds...